Monday, May 21, 2012

Food of the god

Ezekiel 4:12-15
12. Eat the food as you would a loaf of barley bread; bake it in the sight of the people, using human excrement for fuel.”
13. The Lord said, “In this way the people of Israel will eat defiled food among the nations where I will drive them.”
14. Then I said, “Not so, Sovereign Lord! I have never defiled myself. From my youth until now I have never eaten anything found dead or torn by wild animals. No impure meat has ever entered my mouth. ”
15. “Very well,” he said, “I will let you bake your bread over cow dung instead of human excrement.”
At least god can be reasoned with... slightly.

Friday, May 18, 2012

Let the belt buckles hit the floor, biblical style

1 Samuel 18:1-4
1 After David had finished talking with Saul, Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he loved him as himself.
2 From that day Saul kept David with him and did not let him return home to his family.
3 And Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself.
4 Jonathan took off the robe he was wearing and gave it to David, along with his tunic, and even his sword, his bow and his belt.

Ezekiel 23:19-20 my favorite

19 Yet she became more and more promiscuous as she recalled the days of her youth, when she was a prostitute in Egypt.
20 There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Mark Twain

"Censorship is telling a man he can't have a steak just because a baby can't chew it"
Samuel Clemens