Thursday, November 29, 2012

Obviously.

Flying is the gentle art of throwing yourself at the ground and missing.

Thursday, November 1, 2012

Occam's razor

1) Get knocked up for being a slut.
2) Claim an invisible sky wizard did it.
3) ???
4) Prophet!

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Whoops?

The only mistakes I make are the ones I don't learn from.

Saturday, October 20, 2012

Saturday, September 15, 2012

Time

Knowledge is what you get when something goes right.
Wisdom is what you get when something goes wrong.

Romney and the middle class

No, Romney. That was $250,000 a year, not an hour. Sorry for any confusion.

Friday, September 14, 2012

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Saturday, August 18, 2012

I'm just sayin'

You're entitled to your own opinions, but not your own reality.

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Test your theories

If evolution can be dismissed because it's "just a theory", then prove all of science wrong and disprove the theory of gravity by walking off a cliff.

Thursday, June 7, 2012

Shot in the dark

Philosophy is like looking for a black cat in a dark room.
Religion is the same, except there's no cat.

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

It's only a theory

If god claims no one made him, doesn't that mean god is an atheist?

Monday, June 4, 2012

Monday, May 21, 2012

Food of the god

Ezekiel 4:12-15
12. Eat the food as you would a loaf of barley bread; bake it in the sight of the people, using human excrement for fuel.”
13. The Lord said, “In this way the people of Israel will eat defiled food among the nations where I will drive them.”
14. Then I said, “Not so, Sovereign Lord! I have never defiled myself. From my youth until now I have never eaten anything found dead or torn by wild animals. No impure meat has ever entered my mouth. ”
15. “Very well,” he said, “I will let you bake your bread over cow dung instead of human excrement.”
At least god can be reasoned with... slightly.

Friday, May 18, 2012

Let the belt buckles hit the floor, biblical style

1 Samuel 18:1-4
1 After David had finished talking with Saul, Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he loved him as himself.
2 From that day Saul kept David with him and did not let him return home to his family.
3 And Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself.
4 Jonathan took off the robe he was wearing and gave it to David, along with his tunic, and even his sword, his bow and his belt.

Ezekiel 23:19-20 my favorite

19 Yet she became more and more promiscuous as she recalled the days of her youth, when she was a prostitute in Egypt.
20 There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Mark Twain

"Censorship is telling a man he can't have a steak just because a baby can't chew it"
Samuel Clemens

Monday, April 30, 2012

Random thought

Morality is not when you place blame of your actions on a superior force.
Religion is the definition of subjective morality.

Sunday, April 15, 2012

I don't see the light, but I do see something

Everybody is entitled to their own opinion. Everybody is not entitled to their own truth.

Sunday, April 1, 2012

Monday, March 26, 2012

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Random thought

Science: I don't know, and I do care.
Religion: I do know, and I don't care.

Saturday, February 25, 2012

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Homonyms

Know god?
No god.

Now I get it

God is like a father. A father who left you before you were born and punishes you if you don't believe in him. Makes perfect sense.

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Definition

Religion: I don't know, therefore god.
Science: I don't know... yet.

Obviously

Optimist: The glass is half full.
Pessimist: The glass is half empty.
Engineer: The glass has been over engineered for proper operation.

Monday, January 30, 2012

The Abyss

Intolerance is not American. That's the catch 22. If I try to eliminate all religions that tries to eliminate us, I become the problem I fight.

Random thought

Focus on the Family is an attempt to spread religion like a sexually transmitted disease.

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

SOPA

There was supposed to be some Javascript here that redirects you to http://sopastrike.com/strike
Something didn't happen.

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Random thought

Q: What keeps a theist from committing crimes against humanity?
A: Apparently nothing.

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Random thought

Science: A mind is a terrible thing to waste.
Religion: A mind is a terrible thing to use.

Thursday, January 5, 2012